Question?

Question of the day: 

Would you rather spend the rest of your life wondering what it might have been like to date a couple more people before you settled down or would you rather spend the rest of your life regretting the fact that you let that one person who was right get away?

An update on work, food, and life

Brace yourself...I'm pretty sure you're about to get a books worth of info. thrown at you but I just feel like I have so much to share right now...

First, Happy New Year! I hope everyone is starting their new year off on a good foot...and even if you didn't, you have a whole year to fix it ha so either way everyone wins! Love new years! lol.

I started mine out on a pretty good note. The boy and I had some friends come in to the city on the second and stay with us for a few days. It was nice to have guest here and nice to see familiar faces from good old PA! (not that PA is old...it's just in a earlier chapter in my life. a good one :) ) Having friends here also made me realize what a long way I've come since moving here. The girl who was once scared to ride the subway alone for fear of getting lost can now give directions to almost anyone who needs them. I use to be scared to walk into new places by myself...now it's my favorite thing! Just the other week I had lunch by myself in a bar and it was okay! It sounds so silly but I feel like that's something I wouldn't have typically done in PA or at all really but in NY there are millions of people doing stuff alone everyday! And a million adventures to take! My job for the past month or so has had me all around this city and now I want to go and get off each and every stop just to walk around and explore the area. Oh man, I can't even begin to tell you what it's like to wake up everyday and be so passionate about and in love with where you live!! Get use to me NY because as long as I can afford it, I'm staying!!  Oh man, see I've gone off on a tangent already. I guess in addition to how wonderful it was to see friends and share my life with them it was also nice to start out the new year feeling like I belong here. Our friends were asking questions and in answering them I found that I was no longer "the new girl". I feel like I walk around the city with less of a confused look on my face and more of a this is where I live now look on my face. If this makes any sense to you I'm not sure....

Either way life is good. Technically my decorating job (I was designing, making, and installing christmas decorations all around the city) ended yesterday but they are keeping me on board to do one last take down at one particular celebrities (shall remain unnamed) penthouse. After this it was suppose to be panic for another job time but I have gotten quite lucky. Awhile ago I shot an open mic/poetry reading at a bar and the guys who run the event loved my work and invited me back to shoot two more events coming up this week. In addition to that I am also testing out a new client and shooting for a children's theater company later in the week. So three gigs in one week isn't bad at all! I'm sure the week after of editing three events at once will be hell though...lets hope everything stays organized and goes smoothly! In the meantime, while all this is going on I am updating my resume and sending it along. I was given a few leads of places to pass info. along to and I'm hoping at least one of the pans out with some consistent work. 

I'm working on getting a facebook page up for just my photography so that people can stay in touch and up to date on what and when I'm shooting. Now that I'm not running around with the decorating job any more hopefully I will have time to launch it this week. Other things I will have time for also include using my new easel that my lovely boyfriend got me for christmas. I have an etsy shop up but I hope to be selling stuff on it with in the next month or so. So many fun projects! I'll keep you updated.

In addition to all this we need to talk about food quick. The city has done amazing things to my taste buds. You can walk out your door and have any ethnic food you want!! Sushi, Indian, Polish, Italian, Greek....African! You name it! Anything! In trying new things I have really taken to Indian food. I love it! On two photo shoots not so long ago the clients order Indian food and I have to say I was hesitant at first but man am I happy I tried it. So the past couple of day I've been craving it and instead of wasting the money ordering out I'm proud to say I made my own! It was delicious. I made aloo gobi. Which is a potato and cauliflower curry that you can then serve over rice or with naan. I love the curry sauce I could just eat that over rice! So good! and who ever thought that I would be cooking with curry paste and coconut milk! It's recipes like this that make me think I can really go vegan. I've never really been much of a meat eater anyway and it's an idea I've been throwing around now for awhile. I think the hardest thing for me would be giving up cheese....and my bagel and cream cheese every morning but who knows maybe I'll get there. I've already given up milk in my coffee....yes that's right friends, you've heard it here first...the girl who once put just as much milk/creamer as she had coffee in her cup is now only using a little bit of sugar. Oh man. ha. Anyway, anyone who wants to try Indian food should (I'll hand over the recipe I used if you want it) and anyone who has any advice/ suggestions or comments about following a mostly vegan diet I'd love to hear from you. 

For now I need to go work on my website, my resume, my new facebook page, and applying for jobs. ha so that should have me busy for while!

Good day everyone!

the hole in my heart...

ah i know that the title of this post is a little quite dramatic but seriously...there is a little hole in my heart.

i love living in ny so much!! i wouldn't trade it for anything. however, i would trade some things to have my friends be a little more accessible.

maybe i've seen to much sex in city or something but i'm longing for girls night out or shopping on the weekends or even drinking tea and watching some stupid girly movie. i know it sounds so silly but i long to walk out of my room and have one of my best friends be through the kitchen and sitting in her own room waiting for me to bug her. or pick up my phone to text my friends who live right down the street or even next door...18 steps away!...and say meet me in five. i wanna make plans for the weekend. and it's really not about the plans, it's about the people i would be making the plans with. i think so far that is the hardest part about being in this city. i just wish they were a little closer. all of this probably just sounds like whining...but part of me feels like i'm missing out on the lives of my friends...if that makes any sense. it does in my head at least.

also, i'd never admit to having the "christmas tingle" because lets face it i enjoy being a grinch but i will say that christmas has gotten to me in a special way this year. it's made me long for family and friends even more. i want them all around me. i don't want gifts i just want friends, family, laughter, and hugs...okay ha that was taking it a bit far lol but i think you get the idea.

oh and i know at some point my sister will see this and i just want to let her know she is also a friend and thus why i try to convince her all the time to come visit and stay with me.

well for now i have sassy (my cat for those of you who don't know). so i will sip wine and she will listen to me talk as we watch elf again for the 10th time this week.

So much to share!

Why hello blogger! Some how I managed to lose all the pictures in my old post while I was gone...but to make up for it I have a whole new look!

Its been quite sometime since I've last updated and a lot has happened. First, I'd like to apologize for being gone for so long...see I tried out a new blog site called Tumblr and while I do like it I don't find myself posting like I did on blogger and I do miss it. So here is yet another attempt at updating this blog on a frequent basis. 

Now time to update you with all the latest news....for starters I moved to NYC!! Yes, it's true! All of my dreams are coming true minus being broke and jobless...that was never quite a dream of mine. I moved here soon after the boyfriend got a job in Manhattan working as a deck carpenter on the Off Broadway set of Rent. Pretty cool right! The month before I moved I was called into the city to freelance with a photographer on three different jobs. This isn't enough money to completely survive on but it does pay well and is enough to get by. Plus with the boyfriends awesome job we didn't see struggling too much. However, since actually moving here I have yet to be called for work. This is how freelancing works though and you can never really count on it. So basically I am unemployed and franticly filling out loads of applications each day so that I can help contribute to bills and rent...oh and so I can eat things that aren't noodles or rice everyday lol. I am so thankful that the boy has been as wonderful as he has been. He has stepped up and is working sometimes two to three jobs a day. I'm pretty sure he puts in 80 hour work weeks. He is being very patient with my job searching and I can not thank him enough for that!!!

I need to find something to do soon though because I am slowly going out of my mind. While we all complain about work it is definitely something that helps keep us sane and I can not wait for the day when I have to get up and go somewhere...to do something!! ha. Sounds simple but really without it things can get a little dull. 

I have been trying to keep myself busy with editing my photography images from a recent wedding I just shot. My newest thing is to get up everyday and go sit in Starbucks while I job search and work on things. It's something to kinda look forward to and it gets me out of the apartment. I am also trying to update my website a bit and I'm designing watermarks for all my images that match up with the logo on my business card. I never thought of myself as one for graphic design and/or photoshop tricks but I have to say these days I kinda impress myself. I've been watching a lot of tutorials and learning lots of cool tricks. In the end I think it's making me more well rounded and ready for any possible job. 

So since I just got done talking about digital things...and I can't freak myself out to much here...I'll leave you on a note of something film related (well kinda. I use to do these via film but I do believe that some of the images on this site are digital images). I found this site that has awesome things on it! lol but I really enjoyed the Tilt-shift page. As a fellow Tilt-shift lover and doer I really think some of these are beautiful and I want to get back in to doing them!

To see more awesome images and check out the page click here!



Oh oh one final note...every Tuesday the boyfriend has off (with the exception of today ha) and so Tuesdays have become Adventure Tuesdays where we go and explore something in the city. So far we have been sticking to free/cheap things to do and I am surprised by how much that is and all the awesome things we've seen. I have some catching up to do but keep and eye out for Adventure Tuesday updates!!

Ta Ta for now!

Fact:

I am much more motivated and productive when it's nice out side :)

I forgot...

...how much I love Sabrina Ward Harrison.

Reading her book has been my own form of therapy lately.

The other night I was unable to sleep and I stumbled into our computer room and pulled a book from the shelf. I ended up staying there till after midnight paging through it. It was fittingly enough "Messy Thrilling Life: The Art of Figuring Out How to Live" by Sabrina Ward Harrison.

I was amazed how every time I look through one of her books it's like I'm seeing it for the first time. I'm also so amazed and in love with her words. You read them, you relate to them, you grow, you change, you read them again, you relate in a different way, you find new meanings. As I read this time I felt like I was reading some of my own thoughts right off of her pages.

Some of my favorite pages from the book (and this is just some, the ones I opened to first, if I wrote them all I'd be retyping the book):

Page:

"Admitting today

I am a woman who wants to only weigh 123 pounds and sometimes thinks that could be the answer

I am a woman who likes her stomach flat and wants to seem like it doesn't matter all that much

I am a woman who wants to make powerful art of this world

I am a woman who can feel so lonely at the most unexpected times and sometimes I can't ask directly or tell you how upset I really feel and I hope I'll grow out of it.

I am a woman who sometimes forgets about poetry and reading in the shade."

Page:

"and I want to be loved, but not changed to fit them.

I want to live louder but not feel like a selfish person for doing so.

I want to go crazy"

Page:

" "Honey I've got to get up early" When did it become this? Why does it have to? It fades me-Dulls me

Here I am, here I begin.

Beginning over and over starting again with what I know now.

Today I wake up from a dream of a studio a place I can make and dance and teach in.

A place where i'm not too big and my work fits

The sun comes in

I want to live just in my studio, just with my colors

I don't want to live in the conventional way

I don't really want to live the way grown ups do.

The way we are trying to live now- with bills and gas and arguments about who is going to work on getting car insurance and taking the trash out and why does the bathroom smell funny and what about channel 11?

"Why don't we get NBC" and "Will you turn that down"

Sometimes I just want to live sticks and blankets

like the way of the fort

I want to live with the moonlight and dusty backroads

I want to keep on and travel light"

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us" - Joseph Campbell

Page:

" I need to make a real mess on the floor this afternoon"

Ahhh and seriously so much more...If you are unfamiliar with her work please go check it out...not only the words but the pages and images are raw and stunning.

Rainy day blues!

I have the rainy day blues.

I'm still sitting in bed unmotivated to do anything...

except play with my new programable coffee maker which my mom got me and is the coolest thing ever!

So now I'm sitting un-showered still in my PJ's with a nice cup of coffee (you have no idea how much I appreciate the little things right now and how this cup of coffee is like a cup of gold to me) I'm contemplating if I should give in and watch Eat, Pray, Love or not and wishing it was a little more spring like outside so at least I could get out and go take a walk.

Oh life...

P.s

I'm worried about this summer. I need a mix up, something new and exciting. Maybe a move or a new job.

I need to do something cool.

Oh and...I need to make a lot of money!

In all honesty I currently can barely afford to eat anymore.

The end.