Wednesday, December 29, 2010

let the updating and thinking begin..

alright, that's it. today's the day!
from here on out updating on a regular basis it is!
i can't promise they are all going to be spectacular or even all have pictures ha
but they will help me. help me stay focused on something and maybe even guide me into something new.

so today i set up my "home office".
by "home office" i mean my new wireless printer/scanner. ha.
it excites me a lot. i'm not one for wasting paper but the joy of pressing print on my computer, which is three rooms away, and then walking into the room where the printer is to have whatever i just sent to print already be laying there is really satisfying. i've already printed three unnecessary things. lol. and i'm forcing myself to stop now for the sake of the trees. i guess it just feels good to have some new equipment around. i really, really need to save up for a new camera and some lighting equipment! that's whats on the list next.

today however is kind of a weird day. prior to this i had so much on my mind.
today feels slow.
even on the days i had off from work i was thinking about and preparing for graduation and then christmas. that's all over with and today is the first day i have off from work and i'm not worrying or preparing for anything. which means there is a lot of thinking going on...and a little bit of what now?

i told myself that graduating wouldn't really hit or effect me until after winter break was over, because even if i were still in school i would be doing the same thing i'm doing now, working my part-time job as much as possible! it's when winter break is over and everyone goes back that i thought it would hit me.
however, with out going into to much personal detail a very though decision was placed on my boyfriend. he took everything, including me, into consideration and realized that the decision effects both of us greatly. in the end with the decision made we need to start watching our money and saving and planning as a team. all in all the whole situation was a bit of a wake up call as in...your going to need to be an actual adult a lot sooner then you planned! i know that sounds a bit silly, as in i am already practically twenty three and should be an adult already, but i still thought i'd bask in the glory of graduating for awhile before panicking to much about money, jobs, insurance...and life in general! but it's all here and it's all very real...can't wait for six months to be up so i can start working on those student loans too :/

while this is all a worry now, i think i'll...we'll be alright.
when i sit back and look at it i am happy and i am healthy and i love my unpredictable life! and these are things i need to keep reminding myself of.
this whole situation has put yet a stronger bond on our relationship. i really appreciate and am thankful for the jobs we have, the apartment we live in, the food we eat every night, our little friend sassy, and most of all each other. so while i feel i have a few more stressors in my life i also feel i have a few new eye openers and take things a little less for granted.

i am using the rest of my day to clean. there is nothing like cleaning when you have a lot of thinking and reflecting to do.

i leave you with this little quote that i love and feel right now, it's from a book (And the Heart Says Whatever) i just finished reading and recommend.

"The future was still unclear, but just unclear enough to be exciting and not so unclear as to be frightening."
<3

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