the hole in my heart...

ah i know that the title of this post is a little quite dramatic but seriously...there is a little hole in my heart.

i love living in ny so much!! i wouldn't trade it for anything. however, i would trade some things to have my friends be a little more accessible.

maybe i've seen to much sex in city or something but i'm longing for girls night out or shopping on the weekends or even drinking tea and watching some stupid girly movie. i know it sounds so silly but i long to walk out of my room and have one of my best friends be through the kitchen and sitting in her own room waiting for me to bug her. or pick up my phone to text my friends who live right down the street or even next door...18 steps away!...and say meet me in five. i wanna make plans for the weekend. and it's really not about the plans, it's about the people i would be making the plans with. i think so far that is the hardest part about being in this city. i just wish they were a little closer. all of this probably just sounds like whining...but part of me feels like i'm missing out on the lives of my friends...if that makes any sense. it does in my head at least.

also, i'd never admit to having the "christmas tingle" because lets face it i enjoy being a grinch but i will say that christmas has gotten to me in a special way this year. it's made me long for family and friends even more. i want them all around me. i don't want gifts i just want friends, family, laughter, and hugs...okay ha that was taking it a bit far lol but i think you get the idea.

oh and i know at some point my sister will see this and i just want to let her know she is also a friend and thus why i try to convince her all the time to come visit and stay with me.

well for now i have sassy (my cat for those of you who don't know). so i will sip wine and she will listen to me talk as we watch elf again for the 10th time this week.

So much to share!

Why hello blogger! Some how I managed to lose all the pictures in my old post while I was gone...but to make up for it I have a whole new look!

Its been quite sometime since I've last updated and a lot has happened. First, I'd like to apologize for being gone for so long...see I tried out a new blog site called Tumblr and while I do like it I don't find myself posting like I did on blogger and I do miss it. So here is yet another attempt at updating this blog on a frequent basis. 

Now time to update you with all the latest news....for starters I moved to NYC!! Yes, it's true! All of my dreams are coming true minus being broke and jobless...that was never quite a dream of mine. I moved here soon after the boyfriend got a job in Manhattan working as a deck carpenter on the Off Broadway set of Rent. Pretty cool right! The month before I moved I was called into the city to freelance with a photographer on three different jobs. This isn't enough money to completely survive on but it does pay well and is enough to get by. Plus with the boyfriends awesome job we didn't see struggling too much. However, since actually moving here I have yet to be called for work. This is how freelancing works though and you can never really count on it. So basically I am unemployed and franticly filling out loads of applications each day so that I can help contribute to bills and rent...oh and so I can eat things that aren't noodles or rice everyday lol. I am so thankful that the boy has been as wonderful as he has been. He has stepped up and is working sometimes two to three jobs a day. I'm pretty sure he puts in 80 hour work weeks. He is being very patient with my job searching and I can not thank him enough for that!!!

I need to find something to do soon though because I am slowly going out of my mind. While we all complain about work it is definitely something that helps keep us sane and I can not wait for the day when I have to get up and go somewhere...to do something!! ha. Sounds simple but really without it things can get a little dull. 

I have been trying to keep myself busy with editing my photography images from a recent wedding I just shot. My newest thing is to get up everyday and go sit in Starbucks while I job search and work on things. It's something to kinda look forward to and it gets me out of the apartment. I am also trying to update my website a bit and I'm designing watermarks for all my images that match up with the logo on my business card. I never thought of myself as one for graphic design and/or photoshop tricks but I have to say these days I kinda impress myself. I've been watching a lot of tutorials and learning lots of cool tricks. In the end I think it's making me more well rounded and ready for any possible job. 

So since I just got done talking about digital things...and I can't freak myself out to much here...I'll leave you on a note of something film related (well kinda. I use to do these via film but I do believe that some of the images on this site are digital images). I found this site that has awesome things on it! lol but I really enjoyed the Tilt-shift page. As a fellow Tilt-shift lover and doer I really think some of these are beautiful and I want to get back in to doing them!

To see more awesome images and check out the page click here!



Oh oh one final note...every Tuesday the boyfriend has off (with the exception of today ha) and so Tuesdays have become Adventure Tuesdays where we go and explore something in the city. So far we have been sticking to free/cheap things to do and I am surprised by how much that is and all the awesome things we've seen. I have some catching up to do but keep and eye out for Adventure Tuesday updates!!

Ta Ta for now!

Fact:

I am much more motivated and productive when it's nice out side :)

I forgot...

...how much I love Sabrina Ward Harrison.

Reading her book has been my own form of therapy lately.

The other night I was unable to sleep and I stumbled into our computer room and pulled a book from the shelf. I ended up staying there till after midnight paging through it. It was fittingly enough "Messy Thrilling Life: The Art of Figuring Out How to Live" by Sabrina Ward Harrison.

I was amazed how every time I look through one of her books it's like I'm seeing it for the first time. I'm also so amazed and in love with her words. You read them, you relate to them, you grow, you change, you read them again, you relate in a different way, you find new meanings. As I read this time I felt like I was reading some of my own thoughts right off of her pages.

Some of my favorite pages from the book (and this is just some, the ones I opened to first, if I wrote them all I'd be retyping the book):

Page:

"Admitting today

I am a woman who wants to only weigh 123 pounds and sometimes thinks that could be the answer

I am a woman who likes her stomach flat and wants to seem like it doesn't matter all that much

I am a woman who wants to make powerful art of this world

I am a woman who can feel so lonely at the most unexpected times and sometimes I can't ask directly or tell you how upset I really feel and I hope I'll grow out of it.

I am a woman who sometimes forgets about poetry and reading in the shade."

Page:

"and I want to be loved, but not changed to fit them.

I want to live louder but not feel like a selfish person for doing so.

I want to go crazy"

Page:

" "Honey I've got to get up early" When did it become this? Why does it have to? It fades me-Dulls me

Here I am, here I begin.

Beginning over and over starting again with what I know now.

Today I wake up from a dream of a studio a place I can make and dance and teach in.

A place where i'm not too big and my work fits

The sun comes in

I want to live just in my studio, just with my colors

I don't want to live in the conventional way

I don't really want to live the way grown ups do.

The way we are trying to live now- with bills and gas and arguments about who is going to work on getting car insurance and taking the trash out and why does the bathroom smell funny and what about channel 11?

"Why don't we get NBC" and "Will you turn that down"

Sometimes I just want to live sticks and blankets

like the way of the fort

I want to live with the moonlight and dusty backroads

I want to keep on and travel light"

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us" - Joseph Campbell

Page:

" I need to make a real mess on the floor this afternoon"

Ahhh and seriously so much more...If you are unfamiliar with her work please go check it out...not only the words but the pages and images are raw and stunning.

Rainy day blues!

I have the rainy day blues.

I'm still sitting in bed unmotivated to do anything...

except play with my new programable coffee maker which my mom got me and is the coolest thing ever!

So now I'm sitting un-showered still in my PJ's with a nice cup of coffee (you have no idea how much I appreciate the little things right now and how this cup of coffee is like a cup of gold to me) I'm contemplating if I should give in and watch Eat, Pray, Love or not and wishing it was a little more spring like outside so at least I could get out and go take a walk.

Oh life...

P.s

I'm worried about this summer. I need a mix up, something new and exciting. Maybe a move or a new job.

I need to do something cool.

Oh and...I need to make a lot of money!

In all honesty I currently can barely afford to eat anymore.

The end.

it's been awhile

ahhh yes it has been awhile...

i have come to the terms that i am not good at and never will be good at updating this thing on a daily basis no matter how good my intentions are or how hard i try. maybe this says something about myself, i'm not sure...any who, on another note...

things are well.

a few weeks ago i really messed up a phone interview for a really cool photo opportunity in new york. i didn't realize it was a formal, official interview until a couple of questions in. and when we got to the part about my rates i froze. i get so uncomfortable talk about money and how much money people should be giving me to take pictures for them. i know i can make a lot of money doing it but the thing is i enjoy doing it so much that it seems silly to be getting paid such large amounts to do something i consider a hobby for myself.

after beating myself up about it for a few days i realized it was a learning experience. i learned that i really need to get my website up and running and i need to establish rates. next time someone ask about rates i need to be able to whip out a piece of paper and radial off numbers confidently.

in really good news...i semi-confidently did just that the other day. i met with a bride to be's mother the other night to impress her and the maid of honor that i was the right photographer for the job. i prepared for this by making temporary and kinda cheesy business cards, printing photos in different sizes and finishes, and typing up official price sheets and sample packages. after walking her through my portfolio we moved on to talking about price. i was scared she would question my price or try and talk me down but at the same time i knew i was being reasonable and could be charging a whole lot more. in the end, she loved my work, thought the price was just right and that i was perfect for the job!!

this is my first official client!! and the the first job i'm doing , not under someone else, where i'll be getting paid in a four digit number!! she offered to give my information to a few of her friends who have daughters who are getting married. i never saw myself doing wedding photography but i might have had a change of heart. all of this is kind of exciting and i can't wait to see where it leads me...

long time..not a lot of posting

thought i'd just update and say i'm still here! ha. i really wish i had more time to devote to this but i keep getting more and more hours at work. so when i'm not working all i want to be doing is sleeping. lame i know, but thats how it works.

so this is just a short little hello. maybe if i get iced in and can't go to work tomorrow i will leave a better post.

hope all is well and happy blogging :)

New Blog...

i will still be updating on blogspot but i gave in and started a tumblr and i have to say i already love it and am really excited about it...check it out: http://daniellealysephoto.tumblr.com/

on a roll...

sadly i've slipped away from my daily updates already. however, i've been keeping up with everything else i've put on my list to do!!

this past tuesday was the best day i have had in a long time and just the lift i needed!

at the beginning of the week i had sent out messages to all my friends who i knew were home or close to home for winter break.

i was a little sad to only hear back from a few people but i thought to myself it takes two..so if i'm willing to put out the initial effort and you can't take the two seconds it takes to respond then you probably don't care that much about our friendship anyway.

(that sounds a little harsh but i'm sick of people carrying on about how great the internet and text messaging are and how they are quick and easy and keep people together...then when i text a friend and don't receive a response before at least the end of the day it makes you feel bad...it really takes two seconds to open your phone, read and give a simple response or at least acknowledgement...idk i'm just pointing it out.)

any who, i had set up plans to meet for breakfast with two friends i hadn't seen it what feels like forever.

it was wonderful!!

it was so good to see them and catch up and just talk about life...this actually made me feel a lot better about mine.

just to see that there are a lot of people in the same situation with the same types of questions as me.

as we were having breakfast i mentioned one of my other friends and look across the dinner and there she is!! how great!

after going over to chat for a bit i sit back down at the table and what do you know..i get a text form a friend saying she was in town and planning to go to the mall.

so i left breakfast and headed to go pick her up.

we spent the day running random errands together and catching up.

at one point we found ourselves in a craft store and i picked up some new fabric to print on...hopefully new materials is the kick i need to get back to art.

after i dropped her off back at her house i got a text from my sister saying she was taking her lunch break at work and i should join her for her meal since she leaves for her mission trip onfriday (she is going to help build homes in mississippi, how wonderful!!)

so i show up and just as i am explaining how exciting the day had been in walks my aunt, my cousin, and...kayle!!

and they were there for diner! what a wonderful turn of events!

so we all had a meal together.

after this i headed home to see my mom and dad for a little and then i was on my way back to my apartment still in shock about how good i felt from this day.

hopefully there are more wonderful, and uplifting get together with friends and family around the corner!

p.s i've also started a new site!... but it's not ready to be shown yet. updates soon :)

hello 2011...

i'd like to forget 2010, it was by no means a bad year at all but it is officially 2011 now and that's what i would like to focus on. i've heard that your more likely to stick to a goal if you say it out loud, if you have a witness, if it's publicly stated. so here i go...i list my goals for 2011. some of them seem like your typical new years resolutions..save money, lose weight...but i'd like to just think of them as goals or even a check list if i can do the following things i will be sure to have the healthy, happy year i'm hoping for:

1. save, save, save.

(it should also say make,make,make) money that is...in order to make the move i need to and want to make this year i need to be saving and spending money wisely. (we've already started this by cutting our cable to basic cable, it's cut our bill in half!! i don't really miss all those channels anyway and i'm much more productive!)

2. make a move.

more specifically...nyc!! next year when the ball drops i want to be counting down from my brooklyn apartment!

3. feel better about my body.

i could say lose weight or tone up but really i'd just like to feel better about my body. being more food conscious could help, i've had already begun trying and now loving several new foods in 2010, and i'd like to carry that on.

4. make use of my free time, have several creative side projects.

i've kind of lumped the two together but i think they go hand in hand. on days that i have off i need to motivate myself to get out and shoot with my camera, or sit down and sketch, or paint or sew!! i just need to not let myself lose creativity. i've noticed when i browse other blogs that a lot of photographers blogs have minimal words and just tell their stories and events with their pictures. when i update this blog i feel the need to type in words, which may not be bad but a separate blog just for my artistic photographs might be the push i need. (also, i've already taken a step in the right direction today! i started searching for and entering a few photo contest!!)

5. make use of my friends.

i know that sounds silly and i don't mean make use of them as in actually using them. i just mean spend more time with them. a good majority of my friends have graduated, a few are off at grad school and a few will be graduating in may but as a whole most of them are home looking for jobs and now have some more...free time. i'd like to take advantage of this time. i know i will be sad when i eventually do move away and getting together with a friend means more then just a half hour commute. plus, i'm looking to feel inspired. this is how i feel when i get together with my friends. they are all beautiful, positive, and inspiring women and after a get together with them i leave feeling happy and good about life and myself. it's amazing that a few close good friends that you can laugh and smile with can do that to you.

all in all, and like every year in past, i'm hoping for a big year this year. and no doubt whatever it holds will be big! there will be tough times but also plenty of good times and i am excited to take them both on because all of them, good or bad, will make me a stronger and better person.

also on a final note, it's january! my birthday is right around the corner but more importantly we are another month closer to warm weather!! so far this winter hasn't been to bad but i still long to be...in the sun! :)