I forgot...

...how much I love Sabrina Ward Harrison.

Reading her book has been my own form of therapy lately.

The other night I was unable to sleep and I stumbled into our computer room and pulled a book from the shelf. I ended up staying there till after midnight paging through it. It was fittingly enough "Messy Thrilling Life: The Art of Figuring Out How to Live" by Sabrina Ward Harrison.

I was amazed how every time I look through one of her books it's like I'm seeing it for the first time. I'm also so amazed and in love with her words. You read them, you relate to them, you grow, you change, you read them again, you relate in a different way, you find new meanings. As I read this time I felt like I was reading some of my own thoughts right off of her pages.

Some of my favorite pages from the book (and this is just some, the ones I opened to first, if I wrote them all I'd be retyping the book):

Page:

"Admitting today

I am a woman who wants to only weigh 123 pounds and sometimes thinks that could be the answer

I am a woman who likes her stomach flat and wants to seem like it doesn't matter all that much

I am a woman who wants to make powerful art of this world

I am a woman who can feel so lonely at the most unexpected times and sometimes I can't ask directly or tell you how upset I really feel and I hope I'll grow out of it.

I am a woman who sometimes forgets about poetry and reading in the shade."

Page:

"and I want to be loved, but not changed to fit them.

I want to live louder but not feel like a selfish person for doing so.

I want to go crazy"

Page:

" "Honey I've got to get up early" When did it become this? Why does it have to? It fades me-Dulls me

Here I am, here I begin.

Beginning over and over starting again with what I know now.

Today I wake up from a dream of a studio a place I can make and dance and teach in.

A place where i'm not too big and my work fits

The sun comes in

I want to live just in my studio, just with my colors

I don't want to live in the conventional way

I don't really want to live the way grown ups do.

The way we are trying to live now- with bills and gas and arguments about who is going to work on getting car insurance and taking the trash out and why does the bathroom smell funny and what about channel 11?

"Why don't we get NBC" and "Will you turn that down"

Sometimes I just want to live sticks and blankets

like the way of the fort

I want to live with the moonlight and dusty backroads

I want to keep on and travel light"

"We must be willing to get rid of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us" - Joseph Campbell

Page:

" I need to make a real mess on the floor this afternoon"

Ahhh and seriously so much more...If you are unfamiliar with her work please go check it out...not only the words but the pages and images are raw and stunning.